To Keep The Peace
by YamNyletak17
Summary: Because nobody can go through what Team One went through in "Keep The Peace Part One" and "Keep The Peace Part Two" without falling apart. "To keep the peace in the population is to keep a plague of turmoil and pain within yourself."
1. Chapter 1

**Because nobody can go through what Team One went through in "Keep The Peace Part One" and "Keep The Peace Part Two" without falling apart. Its kind of intense, maybe too much so.**

"I can walk, Sam." She insists in a voice laced with pain. He determinedly slips his hands under her without response, catching them a little on the leather of the passenger seat. "Sam. I don't need you to carry me!"

"Bullshit, Jules. You can barely walk." He responds in that no-nonsense, soldier's orders tone that frankly just pisses her off.

"We need to go see Sarge." She changes the subject because, as much as she hates that tone, she can't argue with his reason. Her leg is swelled, inflamed, and it hurts so bad she wants to vomit. He hands he the keys and she unlocks the front door.

"We can go see the Boss tomorrow, Jules. We're overtired, stressed, and broken down. Seeing him in his condition can only make us fall apart." He says it as tears flow down his cheeks slowly. She wants to stay strong for him but she's breaking already.

They saw so much today…. Death, destruction, children's bodies, fear, mayhem. They felt too many emotions, so much that they felt they were going to implode with pain. They lost a friend and a fellow officer, almost lost a Sergeant, a father figure. Scenes of their day haunt them, flashing behind both open and closed eyes.

She sees the mangled remains of Donna Sabine's body, laying on the morgue's table and the pain on Hank's face as he saw what was left of his wife. What if that was her, and Sam was on that table?

He sees Greg Parker, wrapped in Ed Lane's arms as blood pours from his mouth. His skin is white and waxy, coated with sweat as his body shivers with the shock of dying.

She sees that little boy on the stretcher, being carried past her in slow motion. He seems so peaceful, but then again, things are always peaceful in death.

He sees red digital numbers, flashing before him with the imminent threat of explosion. Red, yellow, green… black tags, running in spirals in his head. Faces of people he can't claim to know, people who didn't deserve to die or to be injured.

She sees bomb blasts, hears them as she pictures the mangled body of the man she married just this morning. Their daughter, growing up without her father. Hears his voice through her own sobs, hers telling him to never do that to her again.

He sees Jules crawling into a hole under piles of unstable debris, hears her yell as her leg is impaled. That little boy comes out in front of her, but honestly, he would've traded that kid's life for hers if there was need… And that scares him.

When he lays her down on the bed, stripping her of her uniform slowly, she is crying so hard she shakes. Sobs rack her body as he removes his own clothes, cradles her body in his. He whispers to her soothingly, but his words offer little encouragement as he voice breaks with his tears, falling apart until he is choking on his words. Her hair becomes wet with his tears, his chest with hers.

There is nothing to say, nothing to make the day seem justified, or better. There was death. There was destruction. Fear, hate, pain… Everything that's wrong with the world in one single day. Saying words will not make their pain go away, or make the images disappear. The Earth's ledger is stained with more red again today, and that is an undisputed fact. Blood will forever stain the hearts of those involved, those unable to save their friends and their families.

Why do they do this job? Why do they put their lives – their baby's life – on the line every single day? Maybe the better question is, why do people make it necessary for them to do this job?

"Jules?" She can't respond, he understands. "Jules… Julianna Callaghan-Braddock, I love you. So much, okay? I love you more than anything. I know that doesn't make today any better, but right now I don't feel like I have anything else left. I love you, I love our baby. I would do anything for you, anything to protect you. Do you hear me, Jules? Do you understand?"

She squeezes him tighter, and he knows she feels the same way, like everything they stand for has been ripped from them. They can't connect with the man who destroyed so many lives today, they can't respect him, and they didn't want to protect him.

The phone rings on the bedside table and he picks it up, putting it to his ear. His breath is ragged, broken, and his voice is worse. "Braddock."

In a cracked, fallen voice, Ed breathes. "Greg is stable. His leg is messed up, probably permanently, but he's going to be okay."

"Yes, sir. Thanks for letting us know." He feels obligated to ask, and he honestly wants to know. Wants someone to be able to heal. "Ed, how is Clark? Is he okay?"

"Broken leg, most of his ribcage is broken, and his wrist is shattered, but he's suspected to make a full recovery." He can almost hear Ed's tears and he feels like everyone in Toronto is crying right now. Maybe it's what is necessary. Maybe the whole city needs to fall apart to rebuild.

All is quiet for a moment, and Sam is just about to hang up, when Ed speaks again.

"You got Jules checked out, right? The baby is okay and her leg." He says it almost as a statement, willing it to be true.

"Baby's fine. Her leg is going to put her back a few weeks, but she's okay… Physically." He knows Ed can hear Jules sobbing on the line, whether he's meant to or not. He begins to rock her in a failed attempt to calm her, before she gets sick.

"Take care of her."

"I will, sir." He says, unable to stop his steely resolve from breaking again.

"Okay, Sam. I love you guys, okay. I love you and I want you to know it. I'm proud of you both today. I'll see you for briefing on Monday. Take it easy until then."

"Us too, Ed."

Its hours until they fall asleep, and even then, they are plagued with images too painful to rest through. Peace will not come for months, maybe years, from now. The thing people don't say about being an officer in the SRU:

_**To keep the peace in the population is to keep a plague of turmoil and pain within yourself.**_

**Let me know… Too much?**


	2. Chapter 2

**I had a brainstorm… Let's see if it's worth the time of day. (Dr. Toth returns to examine the psyches of the SRU in the aftermath of the Marcus Faber bombings). I'm going to switch between Sam and Jules, so I hope that doesn't get confusing.**

"It's nice to see you again, Julianna." Larry Toth stares at her across the table with those piercing eye that, if she was being completely honest, are a little unnerving.

"I can't say the same in the current circumstances, Larry." She manages to keep her voice steady. At least she sounds strong, even when she's a nervous wreck underneath it all.

"I can't say that I blame you." Dr. Toth allows, looking down at his paperwork in front of him.

Jules sends a glance to her right for support, but this time she is left unaccompanied by Sergeant Gregory Parker. Her emotional stability now relies on Edward Lane. He gives her a slight nod, mouths the words _sniper breathing. _The small gesture speaks volumes to her nerves and she lowers her heart rate just in time to be hooked up to Toth's ever present lie detector.

* * *

"Good morning, Constable Braddock." Sam stares down Toth just as hard as Toth stares down him.

"Good morning, sir." He returns tightly, quickly speaking again to get his piece in as the detector is hooked to his body. "Since I'm first, I want to ask you something before you get to my wife."

At his right, Ed's breath hitches. "Sam, that's not the best-"

Toth's upheld hand cuts Ed off as Sam gains the doctor's full attention. "Be my guest."

Sam nods his thanks, eyes apologize to Ed for his bluntness in the situation. "Can you please try your best not to upset her too much? Right now isn't the best time for her to be overstressed."

Toth's face turns into the pondering look her likes to adorn. He flips on the machine, leans back in his chair with his legs crossed and fingers weaved over his abdomen.

"Really? Do you mind telling me why that is?"

* * *

"We're going to start as usual." Toth informs Jules and she nods.

"Three truths, one lie." She confirms and he nods. Jules takes a deep breath.

"My name is Julianna Callaghan-Braddock. I have four brothers. I grew up in Medicine Hat. I have a dog." The tell all speed of the drawing needle flashes at her last statement and Toth makes note of something on a pad of paper in front of him. She speaks before he can.

"Stream of consciousness, now?" He nods, gives her a half smirk.

"I'll try to keep up this time." She almost laughs, but can't bring herself to. He looks up at her and she prepares herself.

"I'm sure you'll bring that up in conversation later." Sam responds and Toth shrugs his compliance.

"We can avoid the subject for now, if that's what you wish." Sam nods shortly and Toth gives his an emotionally indecipherable half-smile. "You remember the drill, I assume."

Sam breaks into his short monologue. "My name is Samuel Wesley Braddock. I am married to Julianna Callaghan-Braddock. I want to go shoot something. I am looking forward to our word association seminar."

Toth gives him a pensive look, like he's trying to see into Sam's soul. Ed looks apprehensive as Toth's gaze drops to examine a file labeled Braddock, Samuel Wesley.

"Well, then." Toth speaks quietly. "Let's get on to that word association seminar."

* * *

"Hiking."

"Honeymoon." It surprises Jules when Ed lets out a quiet chuckle. She smiles at him as Toth continues.

"Wedding."

"Sam." Another note on the file.

"Baby." It takes her a second to pull a word from her head.

"Mine." Toth nods. She doesn't know why he's acting like its new information to him. He had to have talked about it with Sam. She's not stupid.

"Boss."

"Sarge."

"Leave."

"Maternity."

"Negotiate."

"Connect, respect, protect."

"Children." She knows before the word ever leaves her mouth that this will be their topic of conversation.

"Daycare." An erratic needle prompts him to stop his exchange of meaningless words.

"Let's talk about the daycare that was bombed, Officer Callaghan… Or do you prefer Braddock, now?"

* * *

"Let's get it over with." Sam responds and Toth launches into his onslaught.

"Service."

"Armed."

"Sniper."

"Perch."

"Bird."

"Flies."

"Julianna."

"Mama." Sam smirks at Toth's raised eyebrows, looks at Ed shaking his head out of the corner of his eye.

"So that's why you don't want me to stress her out anymore. Officer Callaghan-"

"Callaghan-Braddock_."_ Sam corrects. Toth smiles.

"Officer Callaghan-_Braddock _is pregnant." Sam nods his confirmation, unafraid of the repercussion it could bring. "How far along?"

"Three months."

"I assume you're happy about this." Sam nods, smiles a little.

"Very. We both are."

"Then it had to bother you when she went into that nursery alone." Sam glances quickly at Ed, breath hitches as his heart rate moves the needle on the detector's sheet. He doesn't have to answer… That is an answer within itself.

* * *

"Either Braddock or Callaghan is fine. My legal name is now Callaghan hyphen Braddock, but I'm sure you already know that." She pauses, Toth prompts her to continue.

"The nursery, please, Julianna."

"What do you want to know, Larry?" Jules questions as calmly as possible.

"Why did you go in there, especially in your condition?"

"What condition are you speaking of?" She knows full well what condition he speaks of, but she feels he has no right to use her baby against her.

"Your pregnancy. Why did you go in there, especially while you are carrying a baby?" Jules nods, having had her satisfaction in making him explain himself.

"Because there were children." Toth sighs and it makes her happy to know that she can get under his skin.

"Obviously, but do you think your pregnancy influenced your choice to risk your life tunneling in unstable rubble to save the children and woman in that room?" Jules breaths deeply, deciding whether or not it is a good choice to lie or not.

She decides against fibbing. She has bugged to man enough, and she honestly just wants out of here.

"Yes."

Toth stares at her, obviously waiting for further explanation, which he doesn't receive. "Would you like to add anything else to that answer?"

Jules leans back in her seat, rubbing her thigh in an attempt to stem the aching emanating from the infected wound on her calf. She doesn't answer him, just waits for him to continue.

"Officer Callaghan-_Braddock._ Will you please do me the honor of explaining yourself?" She raises her eyebrows, shrugs dismissively.

"Because, if that was my child, I would want someone to save them. I couldn't just leave those children to die. I wouldn't of been able to live with myself."

"And why do you think Constable Braddock let you go?" Jules laughs at his question. Is that really something he can't answer himself?

* * *

"Of course it did. She's my wife and she's carrying my child. I love them." Sam answers simply. "But, that's her job. She saves people. _We _save people, and no matter my personal connection to Jules, I had to let her do what she needed to do to save those kids."

"So, then… What bothered you more? Watching her crawl through rubble that could crush her in mere seconds…" His heartbeat rushes the needle with the suggestion. "Or watching your Sergeant die in Ed Lane's arms."

Toth not only watches Sam's reaction on paper, but Ed's on his face. Sam breaths deeply, slows his heartbeat and unclenches his muscles.

"Neither was great." He responds. "And Sarge isn't dead. He's stable and he's going to be fine."

"I heard and I'm glad." Toth agrees. "But, does it give you problems… Seeing the image of your boss bleeding out on the floor?"

"Of course it does!" Sam snaps at Toth. "I have nightmares about it every night. I have nightmares about losing my team – my family – and losing the love of my life and child every night! Jules has nightmares about me dying and about little babies lying dead on the street because of some psycho's bombs all over the city!"

Toth doesn't speak as Sam breaths deeply, trying to control the panic in his throat. Ed puts a calming hand on his shoulder, glares at Toth.

"Every night, Toth." Sam emphasizes each word. "Every night Donna and Lew's faces enter my head… And every night, they shift so that, instead of their bodies blown to pieces by a bomb blast… it's Spike's, and Ed's and Sarge's… Wordy's and Leah's. Jules's. Yes, it gives me problems, but I'm working through it. We're _all _working through it."

Ed turns toward Toth, squeezing Sam's shoulder. "That's what we do, Toth. We work together, as a team. If you didn't learn that before, you never will. Now, this is enough. Let Sam go."

Sam looks up at Toth and the doctor nods back at him. "You may go."

Throwing back his seat with all too much force, Sam slams his hand into the button that releases the briefing room's metallic door and stalks through, stopping only momentarily to caress Jules's face and hug her, more for his own comfort than hers.

* * *

Jules snaps impatiently at the psychiatrist.

"Because Sam is my husband, not my slave driver. He protects me and he protects his child, but he doesn't tell me when or how to do my job. Sam knew it was the only way to save those people, so he supported me in my decision. He loves me, Toth, not controls me."

"So, _you_ didn't try and force him to leave the building when one of Marcus Faber's," The machine runs wild at the name with the tensing of Jules's body. "bombs was about to blow up with him down range?"

Jules thinks back to her yelling at Sam to leave the building to run, knowing that if she was there, she would of dragged him out by his neck, even with others on the line. "I couldn't force him with my voice alone. I was talking to him over to comm. unit."

"So, if you _were _there, in person… You wouldn't have forced him away?" Toth inquires.

"That's not what I said." Jules responds. Toth purses his lips.

"Very well." He spends a few minutes in silence, scribbling on her file. She and Ed exchange a few glances, trying to decipher his opinion of her mental state together, before he speaks again. "You can leave, Miss Braddock."

"Thank you."

Ed is quick to get up as she stumbles on her leg, catching her by the waist. "Where are your crutches?"

"I left them with Spike, outside the door. I thought I would be okay to walk." She says and Ed sighs.

"You're not." He says, putting a hand on her back to lift her into her arms. Jules doesn't like it, but she doesn't argue.

"I noticed, thanks." She tells him sarcastically. Ed transfers her to Spike, demanding he take her to Sam and that they all go home.

"It's my turn. You're all done for today. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You sure you don't need any support, Ed?" Spike questions and Ed shakes his head determinedly.

"Tomorrow, bright and early."

They nod, taking their leave with worries for their leader following them.

**This is really super long… And it may be bad. I don't know. You be the judge.**


	3. Chapter 3

For hours upon hours, while Jules sleeps restlessly, kicking and whimpering unconsciously, he would rub her back soothingly. Waking her did no good, he had discovered, accept to make her cry; as much as he didn't want her to suffer to the tormenting terrors in her head, he had learned that if he let her sleep them out, she didn't remember them near as much in the morning.

Sam on the other hand, he'd just say he had learned a lot about the distortions of darkness lately. While he comforts her, he refuses to sleep. Instead, he stares at the greyness of the white ceiling until his eyes adjust to the darkness. In that time, he can usually distract himself from his inner terror by attempting to decipher what the unrecognizable dark forms floating on the dank backdrop are trying to be. Maybe, to elongate his distraction, he can try to imagine what his baby will look like, think of names to go with each gender – but really, that's only fun to do when he does it with Jules.

Eventually, he runs out of shapes and blackness and no longer has anything to block out the faces. They aren't even real faces, just figures that he's made up or blurred to give someone a face. That only makes it more painful, because that means he doesn't _know _all of the names or appearances of Marcus Faber's victims. That means that there we _so many victims _that he can't even begin to recognize them, to grieve for them, or to properly pray for their families' healing.

Every night, he'll see these faces for an hour or so until he begins to cry to himself, trying to stem some of the pain emanating from his very being. If he's lucky, he'll fall asleep for a few hours of terrifying sleep, and if he's really lucky (he's not entirely sure Jules is actually asleep all of the time), Jules will awake herself from a fitful sleep just in the nick of time and kiss his tears away, whispering to him soothingly just as he had her.

Despite the days old routine, neither of these things happen tonight. Before Jules has drifted off and he has adjusted to the lack of light, the room is given a faint glow by way off the phone screen that lights up on her bedside table. She sits up, picks up the vibrating device, flicking the charger out of its port, and unlocks it with a flick of her finger across the smart phone's screen. Her eyes flick across the screen and Sam watches her, waiting for her to pass the information along to him.

"Who is it?" He asks, propping his head on his palm in an attempt to look at the screen.

"Ed." She responds, closing the text and returning her attention to his face. It is casted with a white-blue light, her face – which always seems a bit crestfallen now – ominous with the glow. "He said good job with Toth, and that he'll see us bright and early in the morning. He's bringing Timmy's and Sophie is bringing breakfast for us to eat during the psyche eval debriefing. As Team One, ours is first thing in the morning, so we don't have to be there until our normal, scheduled time. Work outs are canceled."

"Yes!" He smiles and she returns the grin, replacing the phone and sliding down to rest her head on his chest. "I love when Sophie brings breakfast! It's delicious."

Jules laughs at his excitement, but can't help but notice the halfheartedness of his exclamations. She sighs, kisses his neck softly. "You wanna eat some ice cream and have a Disney movie marathon? I'm in the mood for some happy for once, and I want to introduce our little girl to the wonderful world of Disney early." He laughs.

"We have to work tomorrow. You really want to stay up all night?" Jules sighs, sits up and climbs out of bed.

"We're not going to sleep more than an hour anyways." Sam shrugs, makes a noise of agreement as he stands.

"Touche," He allows, slipping the low sitting sweats onto his hips. "I'm just still not sure why you're so sure it's a girl."

She chuckles, slipping his old, faded, and ripped SRU tshirt over her head. It falls well into mid-thigh range and he admires the look on her. "I'm not _sure, _I just have a gut feeling that she's a she."

He shrugs. "I wouldn't mind having a mini-Jules running around."

"A mini-Sam wouldn't be bad either." Jules returns, walking towards the living room with him in her wake.

"No. No, it wouldn't."

"Good morning, Constables Braddock." Ed chimes as they walk into the briefing room. The rest of the team has arrived, but Toth is nowhere to be seen. "You're looking good on that leg, Jules."

Jules yawns, pushes Sam's protective arm away from her waist to sit. "Probably should still be using crutches, but I hate those things. It hurts, but the infection is going away."

As if to prove her point about being sore, she lifts her leg and lays it across Ed's lap. He looks at her, momentarily shocked, before relaxing at the sound of Sam's laugh.

"She does it to me all the time." He informs and Ed shakes his head, smiling a bit. He grips her ankle, squeezing it fondly.

"You know, if you didn't look like you'd break into a million pieces right now, I'd push you out of that chair for being so bold." Ed informs. The whole room snorts and scoffs, denying he'd do anything of the sort.

"Please, Ed. You took my phone just to mess with my boyfriend and me while doing weigh-in _in front of _Holleran. _That's _bold." She reminds him and he grins.

"Who? Me?" He points to himself, raising his eyebrows. She rolls her eyes, about to voice her sarcastic reply, when she is interrupted.

"Good morning, Team One." Toth steps just inside the briefing room, pushing the button that makes the steel door fall closed. Ed turns his chair slightly, but keeps Jules leg in his lap.

"Toth." They all acknowledge. He drifts to the front of the room, looking over the uniformed cops.

"I have your results. You may not like them."


End file.
